The Young Victoria

Late night roommate frustration is late at night.

My entire life, and especially the last few months, I’ve wondered whether I’m considerate to a normal extent and the people I’ve known just had shitty guidance in How to Be A Decent Human 101, or if I’m overly considerate and other people are normal.

I tend to doubt the latter.

Like, I would be mortified if someone had to ask me more than once to write out a check for my part of a bill, or if I was using other people’s dishes and not only did I not clean them, I left wet food in them to solidify into concrete on a regular basis. 

Granted, I’m weird and clean my stuff immediately after eating because I hate procrastinating over doing the dishes, but come on. A fucking week? You’re too lazy in an entire week to clean my shit? And even when there are other dishes available, you feel you must always use one or both of my only two bowls? 

And on top of that, you have the audacity to ask me to move my microwave to the basement storage room even though I moved in two weeks before you, you have a much bigger room you could keep yours in, and mine is easier to operate than yours?

I just… 

How in the fuck does anyone think that’s an acceptable way to behave?

Although, I will say this, these girls are a blessing after my summer roommate, who:

• Got wasted one night and threw up in my pot and didn’t clean it the next day
• Bought two cats and never cleaned their litter box
• Didn’t clean dishes for weeks and left expiring milk and vegetables out on the kitchen counters 
• Lost my cable check and then pretended I never gave it to her, even though she was literally looking me right in the fucking eye as I put it on her TV.

Ugh. I’m still not over how retarded that bitch was. 

Even after I moved out she haunted me with her stupidity. She called me mid August to tell me that I received a piece of mail (not the utility bill, just some type of mail she didn’t find it necessary to specify in the voicemail) but when I tried to call her back several times I got no answer, and she didn’t respond to my email until it was too late (and I had forgotten all about it) when our bill was past due. 

You know what’s fucking great, though? 

I tricked her into paying the entire late fee and then some. I told her the penalty was 15% when it was only 5%. And I acknowledge that that was slimy as fuck, and it was also my responsibility to come pick up the mail, but do you know what a litter box full of cat shit smells like?

I do. 

Fuck that cunt completely. I consider it severance pay.