February 2012
4 posts
If I had a nickel for every time someone...
I’d still be pissed.
How dare you.
How dare you.
“It means nothing to say that a person would have done otherwise had he chosen to...”
– Sam Harris, The Moral Landscape
Ever since I can remember I’ve been obsessed with the idea of free will. I always assumed it was an illusion in exactly the way Harris explains it to be. It’s what fueled my interest in criminal behavior and how our criminal justice system chooses to...
January 2012
9 posts
I noticed today that my puppy’s teeth are starting to fall out, and it reminded me that I’ve always found it a little gross that some people keep their baby teeth.
Because, like, why? Why would you keep your dirty childhood mouth bones in a box for years after they’ve fallen out of your head? What type of enchantment does someone experience by looking at them as an adult?
...
My sister got new vanity plates made that read ‘CUL HWIP’.
I usually hate vanity plates, but really, ugh. They were so cool.
The only other vanity plate I legitimately wish I had was this ‘JESUS-H’ plate I saw a few years ago (take note of soaring eagle):
This is a real license plate I saw on a real car driving around Virginia like they weren’t the most OG...
1 tag
So my puppy is big enough to fart now and it’s really making me wish I had a superpower that allowed me to turn my sense of smell on and off at will.
Unfortunately, he is a world-class cuddler. I mean, it’s adorable and I want to love him up close, but holy shit gas.
For a few minutes every hour he just ruins my life and I don’t know how to make it stop.
December 2011
13 posts
1 tag
Somebody That I Used to Know (Gotye Cover) -...
“‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big,...”
– Louis CK
Unless you’re laying in a hospital eating cheerios with a fork. Otherwise, yeah.
I’ve been in the hospital for an asthma attack for about two days now, and I’ve gotten to the point where I just unplug my own I.V. and heart monitor cables to get around to the bathroom or to get a change of clothes out of my backpack that’s across the room, etc.
Because these people seriously take at least half an hour (I’ve timed it three times) to answer my call...
The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole
Favorite...
Anonymous asked: The protesters who were pepper sprayed at UC Davis were not innocent. Just FYI. When this whole Occupy movement started, I was all "this police brutality has to stop." I became a lot less sympathetic after seeing videos of what really happened. You can't back the police into a corner and not expect consequences.
Watch
…and to all, a good night.
(v)
A drunk history with Ryan Gosling and Jim Carrey?
I require no further gifts this fine Christmas.
“The only position that leaves me with no cognitive dissonance is atheism. It is...”
– Christopher Hitchens
One of my roommates is in lockdown at VTech and the shooter is still at large, and I’m just sitting here wishing I’d been nicer to her even though I know she’s gonna be fine.
Fuck’s sake.
Why does this keep happening here?
I love everything about the Christmas season except this deathly cold weather.
I even love southern Wal-Mart cashiers who insist on stressing to you that they’re wishing you a “Merry Christmas” and not a “Happy Holidays” because it’s their God-given right to be douchebags.
I swear, the lady checking me out practically said ‘Christmas’ in slow...
WatchBryan Cranston is the only guy that can make a fart joke this funny.
This man can do no wrong.
November 2011
5 posts
1 tag
1 tag
So I’ve been 21 for a couple days now and I still hate alcohol. The only difference is now I can hate it in bars while my friends buy me drinks.
Maybe it’s the numerous alcoholics that have surrounded me in place of a real family my entire life, maybe it’s the acidic taste or the gross transformation my body experiences during and after alcohol consumption, but I’m...
1 tag
My Man (Fanny Brice Cover) - Regina Spektor
And...
October 2011
10 posts
1 tag
So my dumb ass finally figured out how to watch HBO online with my Comcast account. I get that and Starz free with my cable package, but since I don’t have/want a TV, it was more for my roommates.
But now I can watch it online without the fucking hassle that comes with streaming shit illegally… and it is the greatest thing that has ever been.
Let the real Oz fest begin.
Today was a good day...
I met four other people who dislike cats as much as I do.
They aren’t from the Internet, but still.
This revelation came after a crazy cat lady and her crazy cat husband came into Old Navy with a PetSmart cart carrying two black cats. (The PetSmart is a good half a block away from our store.)
And like, I gotta be honest, I’ve never met a cat person I didn’t think was capable...
The Purple People Eater - Sheb Wooley
Te-qui-la
If I have to sit through 12 episodes of biblical allusions and Dexter finding religion I’m gonna be so super pissed, you guys.
So super pissed.
Also, Breaking Bad is over this Sunday, Doctor Who is gone already, and I am hardcore TV depressed. Fortunately, Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, The Walking Dead, and South Park will be keeping me alive this winter.
But I also just realized like two...
1 tag
Grammar of Male Violence →
Crime reports are written in the passive voice, with no mention of the perpetrator. The result is that the gender of the victim is clearly stated but the gender of the perpetrator is completely hidden: “A woman was raped” rather than “A man raped a woman” or “A man raped someone” or even “An unknown male assailant raped a person…”
…
The focus on women as the victims of these crimes leaves us with...
September 2011
17 posts
My version of Hell would involve listening to people rapidly texting on their loud ass phones whenever the fuck they felt like it regardless of their surroundings for the rest of eternity.
That clicking sound is the bane of my existence. Even before I had my iPhone, the sound of my own texting drove me crazy. It’s just so obnoxious.
Or when you’re having a conversation with someone...
“She just came out of cat rehab.”
– Things my roommate has said in seriousness about her German Shepherd that I find even more hilarious now that my other roommate has a cat.
That feline gone die, y’all.
Late night roommate frustration is late at night.
My entire life, and especially the last few months, I’ve wondered whether I’m considerate to a normal extent and the people I’ve known just had shitty guidance in How to Be A Decent Human 101, or if I’m overly considerate and other people are normal.
I tend to doubt the latter.
Like, I would be mortified if someone had to ask me more than once to write out a check for my...
1 tag
Say It Ain’t So - Mozella (Weezer Cover)
...