Look at this fucking electric water bowl that my obnoxious cunt of a roommate bought for her German Shepherd.
Ugh. I’m not even surprised. This is the same idiot that refuses to turn off any light she turns on and never locks the front door even though I’ve asked her politely to start doing both twice.
I just hate all the things she chooses to be with a burning passion.
(v)
This is exactly what I see when I look at children, too. Dirty, loud and tedious. I’ll never understand their appeal.
I noticed today that my puppy’s teeth are starting to fall out, and it reminded me that I’ve always found it a little gross that some people keep their baby teeth.
Because, like, why? Why would you keep your dirty childhood mouth bones in a box for years after they’ve fallen out of your head? What type of enchantment does someone experience by looking at them as an adult?
“Oh, look at your teeth. They were so small!”
“Right? It’s bananas.”
I dunno. It just comes off a little psychotic to me.
I’ve always wanted a shark tooth necklace, though. But it would only be cool if I pulled it from the shark’s mouth myself while on some kind of deep sea shark dive, and that shit ain’t never gonna happen.
Sometimes I get the urge to pause whatever I’m doing and watch this scene from Breaking Bad.
Aaron Paul is so beautiful, my gursh.
(v)
My sister got new vanity plates made that read ‘CUL HWIP’.
I usually hate vanity plates, but really, ugh. They were so cool.
The only other vanity plate I legitimately wish I had was this ‘JESUS-H’ plate I saw a few years ago (take note of soaring eagle):
This is a real license plate I saw on a real car driving around Virginia like they weren’t the most OG ma’fuckas in the state.
Can you imagine what these people are like, though? I live in this bunghole state so I totally can.
Also, this big bag of pot cookies I’m currently eating from is my whole life right now. This is the first week of the last semester of undergrad (and hopefully my last in the States) and I’m already feeling the itch for it all to just be done with.
Here’s to the start of the end.
Legalize It of the Day: A 20-year, federally funded study conducted jointly by researchers at UCSF and UAB found that smoking marijuana once a week, or even once a day in some instances, did no long-term damage to the lungs.
The study, published today in the the Journal of the American Medical Association, tracked 5,000 individuals across 20 years, and compared their usage of marijuana and tobacco to their health stats.
Cigarette smokers saw a considerable loss in lung function over time, but participants who smokes marijuana as often as once a day for seven years saw no change.
Additionally, no harmful effects were recorded in individuals who smoked marijuana occasionally for longer.
According to the study’s authors, one possible explanation for the results may be THC — the active ingredient in marijuana. The compound is known to combat inflammation, and may be responsible for offsetting irritants that cause lung problems.
Dr. Stefan Kertesz, the study’s co-author, also posits that an unintended side-effect of marijuana usage is the strengthening lung tissue as a result of breathing deeply during inhalation.
And as if all that wasn’t enough, researchers found that pot smoking might actually improve lung function. “At levels of marijuana exposure commonly seen in Americans, occasional marijuana use was associated with increases in lung air flow rates and increases in lung capacity,” Kertesz said.
He did note that the increase was not enough to “make you feel better,” but, then again, if you’re smoking marijuana, chances are you’re already feeling pretty great.
(v)
You gotta be shittin’ me. I just bought half an ounce to make pot cookies because I decided to quit smoking after my asthma attack, and now I find this out?
Well, fuck it. I’m still making them. But this is tremendous news.
Seven Devils - Florence + The Machine
Holy water cannot help you now
See I’ve had to burn your kingdom down
And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out
I’m gonna raise the stakes, I’m gonna smoke you out
I don’t think I’ve listened to anything but this album for like a week now.
(v)
Favorite part.
So my puppy is big enough to fart now and it’s really making me wish I had a superpower that allowed me to turn my sense of smell on and off at will.
Unfortunately, he is a world-class cuddler. I mean, it’s adorable and I want to love him up close, but holy shit gas.
For a few minutes every hour he just ruins my life and I don’t know how to make it stop.
Somebody That I Used to Know (Gotye Cover) - Ingrid Michaelson
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation at the end, always the end
‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’
—
Louis CK
Unless you’re laying in a hospital eating cheerios with a fork. Otherwise, yeah.
I’ve been in the hospital for an asthma attack for about two days now, and I’ve gotten to the point where I just unplug my own I.V. and heart monitor cables to get around to the bathroom or to get a change of clothes out of my backpack that’s across the room, etc.
Because these people seriously take at least half an hour (I’ve timed it three times) to answer my call button.
‘Xcuse my bladder right now.
Up side? This albuterol is making my skin super fresh and I’ve lost like 15 pounds because I’ve been too nauseous to eat for almost four days.
Actually, the losing weight part isn’t that exciting. I look kinda pale and anorexic, but listen. That just means I can eat as many empanadas and as much pasta as I want once I get the fuck outta here, mang.
Oh, and I called into work and was like, hey, not comin’ into work for a while. So. Bye.
Ok, my heart monitor is beeping. I should prolly lie down. Tumblr gets me worked up, apparently.
Nurses give no fucks.
The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole
Favorite Christmas song. Christina Aguilera’s rendition is still my favorite, but cot damn is his voice smooth.
asked by Anonymous
Sorry, I meant to respond to this earlier but forgot it was in my messages.
First of all, I watched the same video you did, and second, are you shitting me?
Let’s ignore the fact that the officer in question had to step outside the supposed impenetrable barricade of hippies (who admittedly were practicing the fine art of assholery) to spray them in the face. Are you really suggesting that an assault with a chemical shown to cause corneal erosion on unarmed college students who posed no serious threat to the officers was justified?
Because if so, you are as cruel and unfeeling as you are stupid.
Happy holidays, and may you never have to experience the agony of being temporarily blinded by some fat piece of shit in a helmet spraying poison directly into your dumb fucking face.
